Wedding Toast!
For any celebration whether it is a wedding or a birthday at some point the “toasts” will start. There is nothing worse than a poorly rehersed speech or someone who has been put on the spot to make a toast. So here are a few tips on how to make a good toast and ensure that it is a success:
1. How do you know them?
2. Why did they choose you to make a toast (remember it is an honour to have someone ask you to do a speech or toast – do you really want to blow it by saying something stupid?)?
3. How would you describe them? What are the first five adjectives that come to mind?
4. How has the person that you are toasting about changed since you met them? For example at a wedding if you are the best man then you need to consider how your friend has changed since meeting the bride. (If it’s for the worst in your opinion DO NOT say so).
5. If you are married, you may wish to think about marriage advice you’ve received or have learned.
6. Are there any particularly amusing anecdotes that illustrate the person for whom you are giving the speech? Funny is good, rude is not.
How to write your speech:
Beginning
Start off by introducing yourself, as not everyone in the room will know who you are. If you are at a wedding: you might say “Excuse me everyone, if I could have your attention for a moment. I’d like to take a few moments to say a few words about our bride and groom. I’m John Doe, Patrick’s best man and longtime good friend” (sometimes when people stand to give a speech they “clink” their champagne flute). To get people’s attention, you might insert a quick joke, just to make sure that people are listening. Before you get too far into your speech, you should thank the people hosting, at a wedding that is usually the parents of the bride.
Middle
Let’s talk in terms of a wedding speech and discuss how you would phrase the bulk of the speech. This is where the notes you wrote down before will really come in handy. Tell a funny story about the bride and/or groom (note I said “funny” not humiliating!), give your thoughts on love and marriage, tell the story of how they met, or talk about how you’ve seen them change through their relationship. While you may know the groom better, try to make your toast balanced, speaking about each of them. Try not to talk too long as nobody wants to hear you ramble, but do give some interesting details. At all costs, avoid ex-girlfriend stories and keep it clean for kids and grandmothers in the room! No one would appreciate a rude speech and you definitely will not be in the bride’s best books. Most of all, if you are sincere about what you are saying, and your words come from the heart, it’s hard to go wrong.
Closing
It’s often good to wrap up your toast with a wish, traditional toast, or blessing for the bride and groom. Raise your glass with a resounding congratulations, cheers, l’chaim or salud, and don’t forget to drink to your own toast! Here’s where the champagne flutes come into play.
I suggest writing your toast down on a notecard or two (remember, I said to keep it brief!) and practicing it a few times so that you’re not reading straight from the card. You may also wish to run your toast by a trusted friend who can give you some feedback.
A few tips on delivering that toast:
Remember, even though you’re nervous, to speak loudly and clearly.Hopefully you’ll have a microphone, but even if you do you’ll need to make sure to enunciate. Nothing worse than listening to five minutes of mumbling nonsense.
Don’t drink too much before you give your speech. A drink or two might help loosen you up, but more than that and you’ll just look like a fool.
Don’t read straight from the card. These are supposed to be heart-felt words, not a scripted response. It’s better to paraphrase what you’ve written, and get the general sentiment across. Of course, you can have your notes handy, just remember to make eye-contact with the people you are speaking to.
Didn’t your mother always tell you to stand up straight? That goes twice when toasting.
If you lose your notes, or just choke up there, there’s nothing wrong with a simple “Congratulations”.
At some weddings I have seen the bestman give the bride and groom a wedding gift … when presenting it to them he claimed that anything he had to say could not convey how happy he was for the newly wed couple. The only way that he could express his own happiness was to give them a wedding gift that he believed would show them this. The gift he gave them was a champagne gift set with a personalised champagne bottle and engraved champagne flutes. On the engraved champagne flutes he had their names written and the date of the wedding and on the bottle of champagne was a photo of the happy couple and a poem that the bestman had written himself. This poem he read to the guests. Now if you think about it, the best man not only got away with making a simple speech – he always took the limelight away from him and put it back on the bride and groom – I remember him telling me how nervous he had been, if he’d had to make a full speech who knows what would have happened!
At another wedding I went to (this was a very lavish affair, a beautiful wedding I must say)… each of the guests had their very own personalised champagne flute which had been engraved with their name. When it came to toasting the happy couple it was with these champagne flutes that they did so! The great thing was that they go to keep their champagne flutes after as their wedding favour!
